October 12 2025

Havasu Christian Church  

I Timothy 3:1-13

October 4, 2025         

Series in I Timothy       

“What should a Deacon and a “woman” look like?”

I Timothy 3:1 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. 

     2   An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 

     3   not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. 

     4   He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity 

     5   (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), 

     6   and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. 

     7   And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 

     8   Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, 

     9   but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 

     10   These men must also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach. 

     11   Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. 

     12   Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. 

     13   For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Intro: Last week we looked at what kind of man an Elder ought to be. This week, we look at Deacons, and the “mysterious” Women.

1. What is a Deacon?
2. The word literally means “servant.”
3. It can also be translated assistant, or Minister.
4. In the first century, Deacons were chosen to serve the Church.

Acts 6:1–6  Now at this time while the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint arose on the part of the Hellenistic Jews against the native Hebrews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily serving of food. 

     2   So the twelve summoned the congregation of the disciples and said, “It is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables. 

     3   “Therefore, brethren, select from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task. 

     4   “But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” 

     5   The statement found approval with the whole congregation; and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas and Nicolas, a proselyte from Antioch. 

     6   And these they brought before the apostles; and after praying, they laid their hands on them.

1. Some would argue that these are not Deacons because they are not named as such. However, I think the “if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, flies south for the winter, it’s probably a duck” rule applies here.
2. Can someone be chosen to be a servant and then keep the title but do nothing?

Nope!

1. A servant can’t be a servant if he isn’t serving.

1. What traits must a Deacon (servant) have?
2. men of dignity
3. Formal reserve or seriousness of manner, appearance, or language.
4. The quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed
5. This guy is serious when he needs to be serious. He is taken seriously.
6. He is worth paying attention to.
7. not double-tongued
8. He doesn’t change what he says to suit the audience.
9. Truth is truth!
10. He doesn't “play politics.
11. “You may not like it, but here’s what I think.”
12. not addicted to much wine
13. These men are living in a time when wine was mixed with water..
14. It killed the bacteria…
15. People didn’t know why this kept them healthier, they just knew it did.
16. Once again, he can’t let alcohol rule his life.
17. not fond of sordid gain.
18. KJV says “Filthy Lucre.”
19. It’s only “filthy” if it’s the price of doing the wrong thing to get it.
20. The Church shouldn’t give a man a job that will tempt him.
21. So if he’s greedy, you sure don’t want to put him in a job where he handles money.
22. If he’s greedy, he shouldn’t control how money is spent.
23. Holding to the mystery of the faith
24. Does this guy have a good handle on doctrine?
25. Does he know WHAT to believe?
26. Does he know WHY to believe?
27. Does he have a clear conscience?
28. Does how he lives his life match up with what he knows to be true?
29. Probably not a good idea to have a psychopath deacon either….
30. His conscience won’t bother him, but only because he doesn't care about right and wrong.
31. Deacons must first be tested.
32. At least the Elders need to give them a good long look.
33. You don’t just make a guy a deacon in a week.
34. You look to see if they embody these traits.
35. I ministered in a church where they had “Jr. Deacons.”

(I know, I skipped the “women…” we’ll get there!)

1. Deacons must be husbands of only one wife
2. The “only” was supplied by the translators.
3. When a word is added, typically it is put in italics so you know.
4. They felt like that is the correct way to think about it.
5. It is A way to look at it.
6. As with Elders, a “One woman man” 
7. As with the Elders, a Deacon is to be faithful, loyal.
8. As with the Elders, a Deacon may have a past, but if so, he’s changed.
9. good managers of their children and their own households.
10. We’ve all been around good people who had terrible kids.
11. Kids grow up and have free will.
12. We’ve all been around people who had terrible kids, and it was easy to see why.
13. That guy shouldn’t be a Deacon.

1. Deacons are given a special encouragement!
2. Those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
3. In the Kingdom of God, Servants have a special place!
4. They are appreciated by their church.
5. They are appreciated by their Elders.
6. They are appreciated by God!

1. What traits must the women described here have?
2. First off, Who are these ladies?

From Gareth Reese’ commentary on Timothy and Titus: Just which “women” does Paul have in mind? Certainly I a context of dealing with offices in the church,it is not a reference to women in general. Since the term can be translated either “WOMEN” OR Wives,” four views have been advocated in the commentaries. 1: the wives of the deacons. 2: the wives of Elders and Deacons. 3: Women who were to be ordained into the office of Deaconess. (An office distinguished from, but comparable to that of Deacon.) 4: They are female assistants to the Deacons.

If the first view, “wives of Deacons, it is argued that (1) the evidence for the existence of an order of Deaconesses at this early date is far from clear. (2) The mention of these women in the midst of, not after, the qualifications for the office of Deacon, seems to point to the deacon’s wives whose character would be material to their husbands’ fitness, rather than to Deaconesses unconnected with them. (3) It is probable that the wives of deacons whose office contained much more of the lay elements than that of the bishop (Elder) would be more associated with them in their work, assisting them, especially in the distribution of alms. Other areas where the Deacon’s wives would be of great assistance would be the visitation of women, and in administering baptism to women converts. (4) That if it becomes the accepted explanation that a class of female ministers (deaconesses) is indicated by the “catalog of widows” (I timothy 5:9) it becomes at least probable that the women here is to be understood as a different group. (5) If Paul wished to designate an office of Deaconess, he had a word to use that would have been less ambiguous.(he could have used a feminine form of the word deacon.) (6) The use of the word translated “wife” or “woman” in chapter 2:14 and 3:2 as wife might make it likely that the term is used a third time here with the same sense in the same context.

In the second view, that “wives of Elders and Deacons are intended, it is argued that there is no pronoun used with “women” to relate them to the deacons alone. Nor is there even any article which might serve as a possessive pronoun. 

      For the third view, that “deaconesses” are intended, it is argued (1) That it is not likely that Paul, in his directions to Timothy, would omit all mention of an “order” which, in the case of Phoebe, appears to have existed at least at Cenchrea. (Romans 16:1) (2) That the expression “in like manner” has just before introduced the qualifications of a new office. (3) That the qualifications required include no special reference to domestic duties, is evidence the women were to be engaged in church work, as over against homemaking. (4) That in the case of Elders, the qualifications of their wives were not alluded to. Why then would we think that one qualification for Deacons alone would concern their wives? 

      In the fourth view, female assistants to the Deacons, it is argued” (1) The way verse 11 is sandwiched between two verses that discuss the qualifications for potential male deacons, and the introductory word “Likewise,” indicates that the task these women are called o to perform is in some way related to the work of the deacons.

Mr. Reese came to the conclusion that the correct interpretation is “Wives of Deacons.” 

I’m going to wimp out… I’ve served a Church were “Deaconesses” were a group given that title… I’ve also served churches where this wasn’t the case. Both worked!

This list of traits are ones that ALL women, and men, should aspire to have! 

1. What traits should she have?
2. Women must be dignified.
3. Again, someone who takes the job the Church has given them seriously.
4. They are women you can look up to.
5. They are women that the young women can use as a roll model.
6. not malicious gossips
7. This has the idea of slander, or accusation in it.
8. In fact it is a word, also translated “accuser” that is used as a descriptive word for Satan.”
9. Should this even need to be mentioned concerning a Christian?
10. We all fail at some things.
11. This can’t be one of them.
12. Temperate
13. As with Elders, this can mean complete abstinence from alcohol, but I’m thinking it is more about having good judgement…
14. Being serious about what they are called to do.
15. Being vigilant… to get their jobs done, and to protect and guide other women.
16. faithful in all things.
17. One translation reads “Absolutely trustworthy.”
18. Whatever they are called by God to do, they do it with everything they have!

Conclusion: We’ve looked at these qualifications for Deacons, and for women who are connected to them, either as wives, helpers, or fellow servants.

      But in reality, these are all traits that we should all want in our lives.

• All of us should want to be people of dignity.
• We shouldn’t bring shame on our Lord by our silliness!
• None of us should “Play politics” with our words.

James 5:12 But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment.

• All of us should strive for self-control, in what we drink, and in everything else.
• We all should be dealing with our tendency toward being greedy.
• If we have a problem with “sordid gain,” we shouldn’t handle others’ money.
• We should all make the effort to “Know what we know.”
• If you don’t understand why you believe something,
• Study!
• Ask for help!
• As Christians, we should live with a clear conscience.
• About what we have done in the past…
• Jesus died to free us from that guilt and shame.
• We should concern ourselves with living a life currently that does not bring shame.
• We should all live lives that show others that we are committed to living for Jesus in a Godly manner.
• Yes, we will fail, but we also should GROW!
• All of us should make sure that we don’t gossip and slander others.
• Prefacing it with “I have a prayer request” doesn’t mean you aren’t gossiping.
• Be sure your heart is right when you share details about someone else’s life!
• All of us should work at being “Faithful in all things.”
• Keep our promises.
• Do what you say you will do.
• Be someone who can be counted on.
• We should all be loyal to our spouse if we have one.
• We should also do our best to help our families in the best way possible.
• This sometimes includes letting them “crash and burn.”
• If God is pleased with Deacons and “the ladies,” whomever they are when they live this way, I suspect He will be pleased with us as well.
• Our lives will be better if we live this way.
• Our church will also benefit.